White Nights; Dostoevsky’s Incel and the Male Loneliness Epidemic

A lot has changed since 1848, but some things have not changed at all. No doubt, Dostoevsky’s unnamed virginal protagonist still wanders the streets of Saint Petersburg drowning in his own loneliness, and as deprived of female companionship as ever before.

Huge spoilers ahead

White Nights is the story of a lonely young man with crippling anxiety who has failed to develop a friendship circle in the lively but unforgiving society of Saint Petersburg, known for its bright summer nights that are almost white like day (White nights? That’s the name of the story!). Then by chance he becomes acquainted with a comely girl, Nastinka (Anastasia).

Nastinka was born a woman, so has certain biological advantages over our poor protagonist, but I would not call her life happier than his. She lives in a house literally stitched against the dress of her grandma, so she does not find her way into the arms of a man, though that did happen anyway. Nastinka falls in love with literally the first man outside her immediate family she becomes acquainted with. This is an escape from loneliness denied to our poor lonely incel main character, but I am not sure I would go so far as to call it a happy ending for her. Nastinka’s lover, if he can be called that, leaves for a year in Moscow and does not correspond once. Excuse me for being skeptical that this is the behavior of a young man in love. Maybe the man is in love, but is unburdened by any sense of obligation to care about Nastinka’s feelings or peace of mind. A pessimist might even suggest that he had been pursuing a woman with a better pedigree (a father with a thicker wallet) but had failed so went back to his spare. And yes, Nastinka was dutifully waiting right where he had left her.

This is indeed the agony of being an average or below-average male; the love of your life you would die for is pining to be in the arms of a man who is off doing his own thing and hasn’t given her a single thought in weeks if not months. Longing for love we will never get and disregarding the love we have is part of being human.

My interpretation of the story is that the so-called “male loneliness epidemic” is not new, but the problem, on both an individual and social level, is not exclusive to males. Yes, our protagonist is lonely, deprived of even a name, but Nastinka (I do have to wonder, and have my own theories, on why Dostoevky chose to name the women of this story but not the men) spent most of her days stitched into her grandma’s skirt, so there’s that. And yet in a way, today’s world has gotten worse, not better, since Dostoevsky’s time. Nastinka is not frightened by his awkward and often cringey advances on her. There was no overtly sexual connotation to these interactions, so there was not a reason for her to be alarmed or on guard. Indeed, one might say that this is the price of the sexual revolution. Sex with women, and many women, is easier than ever before since the invention of agriculture, but at the price of greatly steepening the required learning curve for interacting with women. Making every conversation between men and women like an “all or nothing” job interview might not have been a net positive for our mutual happiness.

(Title Image Credit: Marina Denisevich)

Ian Kummer

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